“ I want you to get excited about who you are,
what you are, what you have and what can still be for you.
I want to inspire you to see that you can go far beyond where you are right now.”
Virginia Satir- family therapist
The words of Virginia Satir sound like a little prayer dedicated to new parents. We all hope that we are able to meet the new person where he/ she is.
But in our hopes and expectations there is already a mindframe which models the space of this meeting.
Who is this baby?
How did he/ she come to us? Was he/ she wanted?
How do I understand his/ her being?
What thoughts create the cradle inside me in which my baby is bathed even before I meet him in person?
Do I allow myself to think of the fact that in reality I haven’t really met this person yet?
The baby is about to come, but before he / she comes he grows inside mothers body.. and in mother’s mind grow thoughts about him.
And the fathers? You also incubate new thoughts, what are they?
Have you been able to articulate these thoughts? Are you together enough to be able to talk about them without judging?
The appearance of the baby creates tension in a couple and whenever someone new and unique comes to our family we try to make him/ her familiar therefore the thoughts/ worries/ anxieties/ hopes. Everything that builds resistance from knowing of who the baby is.
The baby has the right to be unique from the very beginning. But in order to allow this uniqueness your mind needs to be free enough to notice it.
It takes bravery to relate in reality.
borntorelate.com 