I spoke with my 7 year old son yesterday. He left for holidays and is happy to spend his time with cousins. This is his first, long-term holidays away from us. And our first- long term stay without him! He left, and without him the house became empty. How come one little person can change so much in a family? Is it really happening? I wondered. We are still in the same house, cooking, cleaning, playing with a dog… but somehow everything is different. I am amazed and surprised, the house listens to me! When I clean, the dishes stay where I put them, clothes do not get unfolded. Even the dog becomes more obedient. Miracle, someone would think. Not my kind of miracle though. Empty and clean house is not for me.I always wanted it, but it seems that I feel much happier with a mess! Children are a gift! They bring mess, chaos and force us to feel and be alive! I need it, and believe that the society needs it as well. Why is it that we tend to see children as some separate part of society? Are they not as equally important as we are? Could we really not involve them in what we do? Could we not take the invitation to participate in what is important for them?
A.S. Neil, the founder of the Summerhill School once said that if we really knew how to love children, there would never be wars in a world.
I believe that children teach us most about how to be a human. We were all Born to Relate and this simple truth is something we may need to re-learn to be able to love with everything that this love requires from us.
borntorelate.com 